February 23, 1978

Candid Camera would have a field day watching pedestrians attempting to navigate the ice-covered street of Pretty Prairie. The street-crossing techniques are as varied as the citizenry, but they fall into four main categories.
First, and most prevalent, is the "Arms Out, Eyes Down, Jaw Tightly Set, This Street Won't Get Me Shuffle".  These people seldom fall while taking their small, choppy steps, but they do often bump into passing vehicles.
The second category is the "I'm Indestructible March".  These folks, usually male, completely ignore the hazards of the street as they maintain the same pace they use when walking across the living room. We can only hope they don't fall in their living rooms as often as they fall on Main Street.
The "Oh, Please Help Me God Crawl" is the third version. The people who use this technique seldom venture from the safety of home, but when they do, they are prepared for the worst. They wear extra padded clothing, carry a list of next-of-kin, and constantly repeat out loud prayers for safety they have memorized in their idle hours at home. People in this group are easy to spot--their mouths continue to move even as they sit in the middle of the street.
The final group does the "Ice-Skater's Waltz". Usually whistling, they slide across the street, fall a time or two, laugh each time, and upon reaching the other side, turn and skate across again. This group has a tendency to decrease in numbers as winter wears on... ~T. Stucky